By August, many parents find themselves quietly counting down the days until school begins again. You may love your children deeply, treasure the memories you have made together, and still feel ready for the return of predictable schedules, structured days, and familiar routines. These experiences are not contradictory. Two things can be true at the same time: you can feel grateful for the summer and genuinely need it to end. Wanting your children to return to school does not make you a bad parent. It makes you a human being with a nervous system that may have been working overtime all summer.
Why Predictability Can Feel So Restorative
Summer is often portrayed as carefree and relaxing. For parents, however, it can involve disrupted childcare, later bedtimes, travel, camps, changing work demands, financial pressures, sibling conflict, and the ongoing responsibility of keeping children occupied and regulated.
Even enjoyable changes require adaptation. Our nervous systems generally benefit from some degree of predictability. Familiar routines reduce the number of decisions we must make and help the brain anticipate what comes next. When meals, work, school, transportation, and bedtime occur within a more reliable rhythm, the body may not need to remain quite as alert.
By August, you may notice that you are:
- More irritable or easily overstimulated
- Tired of making constant plans and decisions
- Struggling to find uninterrupted time for work or rest
- Feeling “touched out” or emotionally depleted
- Craving quiet, structure, and personal space
- Less patient than you would like to be
These experiences do not mean that you have failed to enjoy your children. They may simply be signals that your internal resources need replenishment.
An ACT Perspective: Making Room for Mixed Feelings
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy reminds us that emotional well-being does not require eliminating uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Instead, we can practice making room for our internal experiences without allowing shame to dictate how we see ourselves.
Your mind may say:
“I should be enjoying every moment.”
“Other parents seem to manage summer better than I do.”
“I must be a terrible parent for wanting a break.”
Rather than debating with these thoughts, try gently noticing them:
“I am having the thought that I should enjoy every moment.”
“My mind is telling me that needing a break makes me a bad parent.”
“This is guilt showing up because parenting matters deeply to me.”
Creating a little distance from these thoughts allows you to respond with greater flexibility. A thought is not necessarily a fact, and guilt is not proof that you have done something wrong.
What Might Your Longing Be Telling You?
Instead of judging your wish for September to arrive, become curious about it.
Perhaps your nervous system is asking for:
- Greater predictability
- More consistent sleep
- Quiet and sensory relief
- Time to concentrate
- Space to reconnect with yourself
- A clearer separation between work and caregiving
- More support and shared responsibility
Your longing for routine is not a rejection of your children. It may be your body’s way of asking for a reboot after being revved up throughout the summer.
Returning to What Matters
ACT encourages us to consider our values—not as standards we must perfectly achieve, but as directions that can guide our next small step.
Ask yourself:
- What kind of parent do I want to be during these final weeks of summer?
- What does my nervous system need in order to help me parent more effectively?
- Where can I create one small pocket of predictability today?
- What expectation can I loosen or release?
- How can I offer myself the same compassion I would offer another overwhelmed parent?
A values-based response does not require forcing yourself to savor every moment. It might look like choosing ten minutes of undistracted connection with your child, maintaining one reliable bedtime ritual, asking for help, or allowing everyone to have a quiet afternoon at home.
Meaningful parenting is not measured by how entertained your children were, how many activities you planned, or whether you enjoyed every day of summer. It is reflected in your willingness to keep showing up with care—even when you are tired, overstimulated, and ready for a change.
A Compassionate Reminder for August
You can love your children and need space.
You can appreciate summer and crave structure.
You can feel nostalgic about another season ending and relieved that school is beginning.
You can be a devoted parent and still look forward to the quiet that follows the morning drop-off.
September does not need to represent an escape from your children. It can represent a return to rhythm—for them, for you, and for your family as a whole.
As the school year approaches, consider releasing the pressure to finish summer perfectly. Let these final weeks be ordinary. Allow yourself to feel whatever is present, and remember: needing a nervous-system reboot is not a parenting failure. It is a human need worthy of compassion.
About the Author
Dr. Amanda Aster McKenna, Psy.D. is a Licensed Psychologist based in Montclair, NJ, providing both in-person and virtual therapy across all PSYPACT states (see full list here).
She specializes in Trauma-Informed Care, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT).
In addition to her clinical practice, Dr. McKenna is a professor of psychology at Kean University in Union, NJ — and a proud working mom to three beautiful children.
Until next month,
Your favorite enabler of Mental Wellness
The Montclair Therapist
Dr. Amanda Aster-McKenna, Psy.D.
(She/Her/Hers)
NJ Licensed Psychologist #5888, Private Practice, Montclair, NJ
Adjunct Professor, Kean University, Department of Advanced Studies in Psychology
Manager, New York City Chapter of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science
Board Member, Mental Health Association of Essex and Morris
*Peace, Love, & Fierce Acceptance*
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