Dear Consumers of Mental Wellness,
Having just experienced the profound loss of someone that I loved and have known my entire life, I thought I would choose to act with courage and vulnerability and share a bit about the grieving process, and how it can be done both mindfully and compassionately.
Grief has no rulebook. It doesn’t follow a timeline or come with clear instructions—and yet, so many of us feel pressure to “move on” quickly, quietly, or without mess. But what if grieving didn’t have to be something we got through? What if it could be something we moved with, moment by moment?
Mindful grieving invites us to slow down and meet our emotions as they arise—without judgment, resistance, or shame. Whether grief appears as sadness, numbness, confusion, or even a brief moment of peace, mindfulness allows us to notice it gently, rather than push it away. Compassionate grieving goes one step further. It means offering ourselves the same kindness we might give a dear friend: softening the inner voice that says we “should be over this,” and instead asking, What do I need right now?
Here are a few small ways to support yourself (or someone else) through grief:
In your own time, and in your own way—you are allowed to grieve.
Having just experienced the profound loss of someone that I loved and have known my entire life, I thought I would choose to act with courage and vulnerability and share a bit about the grieving process, and how it can be done both mindfully and compassionately.
Grief has no rulebook. It doesn’t follow a timeline or come with clear instructions—and yet, so many of us feel pressure to “move on” quickly, quietly, or without mess. But what if grieving didn’t have to be something we got through? What if it could be something we moved with, moment by moment?
Mindful grieving invites us to slow down and meet our emotions as they arise—without judgment, resistance, or shame. Whether grief appears as sadness, numbness, confusion, or even a brief moment of peace, mindfulness allows us to notice it gently, rather than push it away. Compassionate grieving goes one step further. It means offering ourselves the same kindness we might give a dear friend: softening the inner voice that says we “should be over this,” and instead asking, What do I need right now?
Here are a few small ways to support yourself (or someone else) through grief:
-
- 🌿 Pause and breathe. A few slow breaths can anchor us in the present when the heart feels heavy.
- 📝 Name what’s here. Saying “this is grief,” “this is sadness,” or even “I don’t know what this is” gives shape to the experience.
- 💗 Be gentle. Rest, cry, laugh, remember, or rage—there’s no right way to grieve.
In your own time, and in your own way—you are allowed to grieve.
Until next month,
Your favorite enabler of Mental Wellness
The Montclair Therapist
Dr. Amanda Aster-McKenna, Psy.D.
(She/Her/Hers)
NJ Licensed Psychologist #5888, Private Practice, Montclair, NJ
Adjunct Professor, Kean University, Department of Advanced Studies in Psychology
Manager, New York City Chapter of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science
Board Member, Mental Health Association of Essex and Morris
*Peace, Love, & Fierce Acceptance*
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